My June op-ed ran in print again, and not online. So in lieu of sending you a link, I'm putting the text of the piece here, and sharing this. Over-reported topic, I know. But hey, it's the name of the game.
A sleepy day late last month (May 23, 2014) the residents of Isla Vista California, a quiet town surrounding the University of California Santa Barbara, were reeling from a tragedy. When police finally put all the pieces together, they would learn that in addition to the gunman, 6 people had lost their lives that day in a killing rampage, that according to the Washington Post, that included stabbings, shootings and mowing people down with a car. For the most-middle class suburb, the events seemed unthinkable.
What makes this horrifying incident stand out is not the fact that it was a mass shootings. Whether we like it or not, we must admit that after a movie theater in Denver, a school in Connecticut, two brokerage houses in Georgia, a military base in Texas and countless other heart-wrenching days, mass shootings are a part of America, and as we seem unwilling to either address gun control or mental health provision, it's a part of America we are content to live with.
What made the Isla Vista shooting stand out was the treasure trove of online documentation left behind by 22 year old Elliot Rodger. A manifesto, trails and trails of chatroom anger and hours of youtube videos detailing the path that this wealthy young man took from being just another college student to ending his own life after destroying those of 7 other people.
Elliot Rodger, as it turned out, hated women. As a 22 year old virgin he viewed himself as an alpha male who had been denied what was rightfully his--a relationships, sex and female companionship. He shot, stabbed or ran over 20 people (including himself), killing 7 of them, because of the behavior of women. In the weeks since the shooting the internet has (of course) exploded. Blogs and vlogs and arm-chair philosophers bandying back and forth. Debating the role that Rodger's misogynistic online activity had in pushing him to kill, and igniting a debate.
Not the ever ongoing debate that exists on the darker side of the internet, between misogynists and those they target. The debate about whether or not women should even have a public voice at all. But a subtler debate, one that sought to separate Rodger's actions from his misogyny. A debate between perfectly reasonable people, all of whom agree that women ARE human, and should be equal members of society.
Yes, he was misogynistic, but that's not really the important point, go the arguments. He was crazy, so it doesn't matter what his internal monologue was saying.
Except, if a skin-head wrote a racist tirade and posted a film about how he or she hated non-whites and would kill them, and then went on a killing spree. We would say they were motivated by a deep and horrible racism.
If terrorists planned and conducted an attack killing dozens of people, and left a video behind saying that it was part of a jihad, we would say they were driven by hate and a twisted version of faith.
However, if a man goes on a killing rampage and posts a video about how much he hates women, and how that is driving him to kill, we simply say he is crazy. We jump to arguing about mental health and gun control. We call bloggers who focus on Rodger's connection to PUA hate groups, and Men's Rights organizations "obsessed" and "taking things a little too far."
This time, we need to take a moment to remember that while women's rights have come a long way, we still live in a world where one out of every three women living in the United States will face sexual assault during her lifetime. It's safer for women to give a fake number than say no, they don't want to give out their number because somehow lack of interest on their part is deserving of anger. A world where women still look over their shoulders when walking in the dark, and hide bruises that their partners leaves on their faces after fights.
No, not all men are violent, most men are not even coercive. But not all whites are skinheads, and not all Islamic people are terrorists---in fact only tiny tiny percentages of these populations commit horrendous crimes. But we don't brush off the motivations when they do. We recognize that social change is still being made, and that some horrible symptoms do represent a larger problem. A problem that the majority of upstanding citizens can help change.
So no, not all men commit these horrible acts, but all women do live their lives in the shadow of the idea that someday, somewhere, sexism, has will or could impact them. That impact could come in the form of physical assault, sexualized online bullying, or just someone harassing them on the street or denying them a raise. And all people, women and men, have an equal responsibility to step forward and work with all women to help change that fact. Even if part of that change is letting go of being defensive, and living with the discomfort of admitting that yes, misogyny is still a problem, and yes. Sometimes it does contribute to horribly violent things.
Rt. Reverand George Selwyn (1809-1878), was a member of the first ever Cambridge University Varsity Crew that raced against the Oxford University Varsity Crew on the Thames in 1829, launching a boat race tradition that continues to this day. Born in Hampstead, Selwyn was known as both an athlete and a scholar, and it surprised no one when he went on to study at St. John's College, at the University of Cambridge, where he graduated with a B.A. in 1831 (second in the Tripos), and then going onto get an M.A. in 1834 and a D.D. per lit. in 1842. As he was culminating his academic work, Selwyn--already a priest--was appointed the first bishopship of the Anglican church in 1841. A post that he held for over 20 years. In 1868 he was appointed bishop of Lichfield, and said goodbye to his beloved New Zealand to hold this post in England until his death at the age of 69. 
In recognition of the religious work done by the college's namesake, Selwyn maintained a requirement for all student to attend chapel each Sunday until 1935. Selwyn became one of the first all-male colleges in the University system to admit women, housing their first female students in 1976, and in 2009 Selwyn became the first of the Cambridge Colleges to appoint a woman to the office of "Head Porter."
Selwyn College hosts the Selwyn Snow Ball each year, Cambridge's only annual Winter Ball, distinguishing the event from the other May Balls and Summer Garden Parties held throughout Cambridge. Selwyn's reputation for providing a relaxed environment perhaps contribute to it's reputation as one of Cambridge's friendlier colleges. 
