Dear Time Magazine: As Regards The Word "Feminist"....

Dear Time Magazine,

I can't lie.  When "Yolo" got proverbially voted off the island in your annual "Words That Should Be Banned" poll, I cried little tiny secret tears of joy.  "You Only Live Once" had become the catchphrase of a new generation.  One that reminded me, subtly, that I was no longer the "in" thing and that space would have to be made for the new.  

I cried even bigger, less secret, tears of joy when "twerk" meandered through the tunnel of mildly public internet scrutiny and came up lacking.  Hi-Larious.  Miley Cyrus's hopefully well intended cultural-appropriation proving not so popular as everyone thought.  OMG hit me less hard, but in all fairness I use it a lot, and it was my generations symbol of being young and in touch (something we no longer are).  Prior to the Time poll being published, I had my guesses for what might make the list:

"Obamacare"
"Selfie"
"Snarkface"

My top three didn't even make the list.  Some of the words that did made perfect sense; "literally."  "Om nom nom nom" and "said no one ever" are phrases, not words, but I can see how they get on nerves.  "Yaaaaaas" is NOT a word I don't even know what "bae" means, but scrolling down the poll, just five entries in I stumble across the word "feminist."

On a list of words that the editors of time magazine believe will make you "cringe."  I have to sort of pause, and wonder how a nationally-read magazine that is distributed globally can represent the word "feminist" as cringe-worthy?  Have they been reminded one too many times that equality matters?  Are those editors sick of the idea that gender, orientation and race should not define the value of a human life or human work?  Do they "want to shove chopsticks" through their eardrums (as these words are reported to make readers feel) when someone stands up and points out that even now, in 2014, being trans in 2014 means living in the shadow of violence?

As a pretty darn privileged white, blonde, cisgendered, hetero chick from a middle-class(ish) family, I get that sometimes it just BUGS us to be reminded of our privilege.  I HATE having to remember that in many cases I benefit from the suppression of other people.  I don't want to know that I'll have more opportunity because of bias tilted in my favor.  I'd rather just call it "hard work" than have some "feminist" (there's that word again) make me question the way that our society is structured.

But then again, I start to think of the things that DO make me want to "shove chopsticks through my ears," and I've compiled a list.

When I, or a friend I'm with, are cat-called sitting on the bus, walking down the street or simply "being" in a major city.

When someone says "don't be that girl" if I refuse a drink or edge away from someone I'd rather not get down and dirty with on a dance floor.

When women are stalked on the internet and real life for daring to point out sexism in the workplace, online or in real life.

When people I know get death-threats for blogging about inequality.

When the phrase "..not all men are bad" is floated during a discussion of partner sexual assault.

And that's just a start.  I get it. Feminists bring up issues that make us squirm and shiver and remember how far we have yet to go.  They call us out on the many ways in which the world still needs to be set right, and on how many human beings are not valued as such.  Feminists never let us sit comfortably in our class, race and/or gender privilege.  If Time Magazine wants to help us feel good about eliminating words that make us feel uncomfortable, maybe "feminist" is a word that ought to go.

But on the other hand, sometimes I think it can pretty damn good for us to feel uncomfortable.  After all, there is nothing comfortable about discrimination, gendered violence or the devaluation of human lives.

Maybe I'm just being a Snarkface, but hey--YOLO--and what better things do we have to do with our time than to really look at who we are, where we are and how that fits into the bigger world, and if we literally find ourselves in a system that destroys some to benefit others, maybe it's time to embrace some Feminist values and try to help level the damn playing field.

Ciao.